A tiny Mommy victory?

Some days, okay – MOST days, I feel like a failure as a parent. Or in the least, that I’ve failed my kids or my husband in some way. I guess that’s what “mommy guilt” is all about, right?

Most days I feel that I stay at work too long, interact with the kids too little, and just plain don’t do all those super-fun, great, amazing things that most stay at home moms do. I’m just not that put together when it comes to my home life. Maybe it is because I use up all that energy at work that when I get home I’m simply exhausted, especially on the days that I need to rush from work to daycare because my husband is already at work for the night. I guess it’s just a combination of many things – with my workload that was crazy for a few months, a schedule opposite of my husband’s at least a few days a week, and until recently, schoolwork hanging over my head as I was working towards my MBA. Lately, my load has lightened since work isn't as crazy and I am finished with school, but I still feel exhausted.

At any rate, I feel like I should be doing more arts & crafts, taking more trips to the park and initiating more play dates for the kids. I also should do more around the house and just be more productive in general. My husband and I often joke that we have switched roles in our family, because for the past few years he was a (mostly) stay at home dad. He did the laundry, cleaned the bathrooms and even started cooking dinner most nights.

Now he’s back to work full-time (but still home twice during the week with the kids due to his schedule) and things have to shift a bit more and most days, I feel like I just don’t make the progress I should.

Then there are days like today. There was 10am softball practice, followed by a much needed coffee run. I didn’t get my workout in and thought we were going to have a “movie day” because I wasn’t feeling that great.

Well, things took a turn for the better and while the kids did their little crafts and played for a while, I did lots of laundry (you’re welcome hubby!), cleaned up in the kitchen, baked homemade bread which then turned into homemade French toast sticks with a delicious banana compote, I made progress on a baby blanket that I had an order for and now I’m about to tackle the project that I’ve been putting off: cleaning out and organizing our desk.

While that may not seem like much, I feel so accomplished. I’m especially proud of the French toast sticks because it was a very delicious “breakfast for dinner” night! I don’t think I’ve raised my voice once today and everyone seems to be getting along fine. Now I’m just waiting for my husband to call and tell me he’s leaving work so I can make him some hot & fresh French toast (his favorite), minus the banana compote because he’s a little crazy and thinks bananas are disgusting.